Man Tries to Access Michelle Obama's Account Claiming to be Son

WENN

You know you can’t be the brightest criminal in the world when you go to the bank, claim to be the child of someone, and actually think that will gain you access to their bank account. And to claim that the special someone is Michelle Obama of all people, you have to be highly confused. But a man in Texas tried to do all this recently and seriously thought someone was going to believe him.

According to the Huffington Post, the man, named Johnnie Fletcher Gooden, Jr. walked into a Chase bank in Bryan, Texas and told a teller he was the newly-adopted son of Michelle Obama. Mind you, this man is grown as hell, 29 years old at that, living in a completely different state than the Obamas, talking about he’s “newly adopted.” Gooden did this on Saturday morning, and told the teller that he had been formally adopted into the family the day before. Despite his best efforts, the teller informed him that she didn’t even have an account with Chase, but he wasn’t trying to leave after the fact.

Police were called to the scene and Gooden allegedly tried to explain to them that the FLOTUS had personally contacted him via Facebook, asking him to join the family. Fool-proof plan, right!? Unfortunately for him, not only was this plan terrible, but police looked him up via a background check and found that he had outstanding warrants for resisting arrest and assault.

And he had marijuana in the pocket of his shorts. All bad.

Gooden was of course arrested and is currently being held on $52,000 bail for his assault charge. The struggle is real folks, so much so that people are out here trying to be claimed by the wife of the leader of the free world. C’mon Johnnie…C’mon!